Phew! It's been a busy summer of doing nothing...trying to stay away from crowds and people. You would have figured I could have pumped out twenty blogs this summer...yet somehow time slips away even when trying to do nothing. So here comes the third installment in the "what I have learned" blog series. When we last left off, I had read a book that began to open my eyes as to why I was experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks. This would be the first of many books I would read that would help me on this journey. Sensing I was in need of help, my dear friend, Miyoko, generously offered a reiki treatment. I agreed although I was a little skeptical. By that point, I was willing to try anything (within reason).
Miyoko came to my house, set up the table then told me a little about what to expect. She instructed me to lay on the table (with my clothes on...phew!) then she placed a light covering over me. She told me to close my eyes and relax. Relax, relax, relax....whenever someone tells me to relax I usually do the opposite. I tried hard to relax and the harder I tried, the more my mind swirled. Soon it churned up into a lovely little thought storm of chastising myself for not being able to properly relax...."gosh, why do you make everything so hard?!!" Of course, I was thinking these things to myself...not saying them out loud. I figured Miyoko would go ahead and do her thing and I could just lay here and have a lovely argument with myself about relaxing. Except that was not what happened. About five minutes in Miyoko stopped the session and asked me to sit up. It's over already? Great...fast....love it...when does the miracle change in me happen?
Nope, not over at all. Miyoko sat down next to me on the table and asked me what was wrong. I think her exact words were "you are riddled with anxiety." What???? Oh no!!! It's that obvious??? I work so hard to hide my anxiety...how did she see it...all I was doing was laying there quietly on the table. She must be psychic or something? With her question, I began to tremble and cry. I explained everything that had been happening over the past few months...the pool guy...the Disney vacation...the driving...the Xanax. She finally stopped me. She told me that she would re-balance my energy but it would up to me to keep it that way. Ok, not sure how I am going to do that...but I'm willing to learn and try. So I laid back down on the table and closed my eyes. I don't think she touched me once during the reiki session (not that I can recall). I began to feel extremely cold (that light blanket wasn't getting the job done), I began to actually shiver and tears started to fall even though I wasn't really thinking about anything other than what she might be doing. After a little while she was done. I felt cold and tired...not energized and raring to go like I thought I would . She explained the chill and fatigue was the negative energy leaving my body (apparently there was a lot of it). I would be fine after a good night's sleep and lots of water to keep the energy moving in my body.
There was no mystical experience on the table that day. I didn't levitate or see Jesus. Reiki is so gentle that the energy would never want to freak you out in that way if you are not ready for it. My mystical experiences came later when I was ready and could actually learn and grown from them. After that day, I continued to read and learn about energy, reiki and how to keep myself balanced. I began taking reiki classes and became attuned to levels 1 and 2. I sat at that level for about 3 years. I hid this part of myself from most of my family and friends fearing that I would be judged as a new age flake or wacko or doing something against my religion. Really this was just my own ego trying to protect me much like an overbearing mother (which is what the ego often is) instead it just kept me down and feeling a little frustrated with my life's purpose. I thought that I might just stay at level 2 and leave it at that...once again the Universe had other plans for me.
In 2016 my mom began making her transition into the next world. Her transition was rough. She didn't want to leave us and we didn't want her to leave, however, her body was just worn out. I felt so helpless during those days. I would often just gently place my hands on her body and offer her reiki, grateful that at least I could offer her this little act of kindness. She went Home to God in early 2017. About a year after she passed, I felt ready to take the next step in my spiritual journey and became attuned as a reiki master/teacher. I was eager to take this next step, I no longer cared what others thought. I attributed this new found courage to my mom. I knew she was on the other side just cheering me on and encouraging me to take this next step on the path of my life's purpose.
After I received my master attunement, I wanted the world to know that I was here and ready to help. Although a little nervous, I went on Facebook and posted my reiki master certificate. Most people in my life had no idea that I practiced reiki...what would the comments be? Would I be accepted? Maybe no one would care? I didn't know, I just knew I had to come out of the spiritual closet if I was going to help people. The first comment came from my aunt, my mom's older sister. My aunt has been a nun in service to God and community for over 65 years. Great, I thought...here we go...The Universe obviously wants to give it to me straight up...hearing from aunt was like hearing from God...and my mom. What she commented brought tears to my eyes, it went something like this: "Mary Kate, I always knew you were a healer. This is wonderful. I am so proud of you." Getting my aunt's approval, this woman who devoted her whole life to God, was better than getting the Pope's endorsement! I knew my mom was speaking through my aunt sending her approval and love. Additionally, I received many comments that day...all very positive and supportive...not one negative comment (which is unusual for Facebook). Since that day I have I have been blessed to help anyone who asks. You do not need to believe in reiki or energy work to receive a treatment...you just need to ask.
So, I learned life's lessons cannot be rushed. We want happiness and fulfillment and we want it now...unfortunately it doesn't work that way. The Universe gives us just enough help to clear the path, however, we must take the journey ourselves...no one can do it for us.
See, she' s fully clothed! Amazingly half of the stock photos of reiki on the Internet show a pretty girl in a white towel looking completely relaxed. Figures!